Sunday, September 11, 2005

8/31/7 early AM pre-boat
Won Zero idea
Talk about dumb dotcom ideas. Women at a PR agency talking about startups while smoking on a balcony in Silicon Valley circa 1999.
“Online Pet Jewelry?”
Think about it. Americans spend more on their pets than the GDP of the 64 poorest countries in the world combined.
Yeah, but jewelry? Like diamond bracelets, do they have ruby-encrusted flea collars?
They do custom work, sure. Look, pet stores can’t carry high-dollar goods like this, one, the capital outlay is too great, and two, well, I’m sure there’s a two. Oh, and, jewelry stores won’t carry pet jewelry cuz it’s such a niche market and diminishes the rest of their merchandise.
It sounds stupid if you ask me.
Draper Fisher is funding it.
No. Who else is pitching the account.
Oh, the usuals, Edelman, Weber, Fleishman. But, we’ve got a lock. We already convinced Walt Mossberg to write about it.
Write about it how? As one of the stupidest ideas he’s ever heard?
Just you wait. (Snuffs out cigarette) Come on let’s go.

A tooth phone?
Yeah, it’s voice activated.
Phones are changing, the phone will be the new wallet, the new credit card, map and GPS. It will be so personal people will never want to be without it.
But a phone on your tooth.
Not “on” – “in” your tooth.
In? – isn’t that a bit invasive?
You have fillings don’t you?
Yeah, but those don’t ring when I’m munching on a Caesar salad.
They can be turned off. Listen, you have a built-in distribution network. Dentists. You go in to have a cavity filled and the dentist says, “Would you like a phone with that?” Hell, why not. Lugging around a phone is a nuisance. Pretty soon you’ll never see another one of these again (holds up phone). People will walk down the streets of San Francisco talking, hands free, not a care in the world.
People already do, they’re called street people, but I don’t think that’s your target market (shakes head).
We’ve got a guy from the ADA. Our polling data is strong.
Three out of four dentist’s surveyed…
(Laughs. Puts out cigarette). Come on let’s go.

Emergency Condom Delivery.
Oh, come on.
Really. Think about it, you’re with a guy and you really want to get it on, but neither of you brought a rubber. Do you just give up, talk your way out of it, blowjob, what?
Wait until tomorrow?
You and I have different priorities, I think.
Really.
Drug dealers can deliver in 10 minutes, this group is already in negotiations with the Cripps and the Bloods.
You’re joking.
They’ve given Landor $500k to come up with a name.
(Wry look)
OK, I’m just fucking with you. (snuffs out cigarette.) Come on, let’s go.


Maybe I could write a sitcom.

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